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Thursday, 21 May 2015

The vicious red planet MARS!!!

In Week 5 of Term 2 our class focussed on how to write great information reports.
We wrote about the planet Mars as we are in the middle of learning about Planet Earth and Beyond. Learning how to write a great information report will help us with our self-guided topics in a few weeks time.
Here is my writing, after I have self-assessed and peer-assessed my work.

THE AMAZING PLANET MARS


The interesting planet mars:
Have you ever wondered why people wouldn’t like to live on Mars. I am going to teach you everything I know about Mars and why people don’t live there . Although this fantastic planet Mars, No human that has existed has walked on this planet.  


Why people don’t live on Mars:
Mars is an inhabitable planet for a humans to live on Mars. Mars has the biggest volcano in our solar system! If this volcano erupted, you would melt to death, This volcano’s name is Olympus Mons. Although, This is not the only dangerous thing on this red cold planet, it has dust storms that lasts for months, These dust storms destroy anything they see. The planet Mars has a very thin magnetic field so the sun shines directly onto the surface of Mars, which can cause skin cancer. Also, there is very little oxygen on Mars so humans would not be able to breathe. Looking at all these points it is impossible to live on Mars.


Mrs Orbit:
Mars orbits very differently to earth, It would be two years of Earth’s years and only one of Mars’s years.This is because it spins slower than our planet earth. Even though Mars takes two years to orbit the sun it has the same seasons that Earth has, but since the years are longer on Mars the axial tilt is different, and Mars has a more eccentric orbit than Earth, the seasons are not the same length as each other neither are they the same in each hemisphere.


Surface features:
Mars is called the red planet because it has rust like dust. Like I said in the second paragraph Mars has the biggest volcano in our solar system. Mars also has canyons and no living creatures on it. Mars has a very thin atmosphere made mostly of carbon dioxide. It’s not thick enough to trap the sun's heat like venus can. Mars has very little gravity which can not hold the atmosphere well.


Mars is named after the Roman god of war, I hope you have learnt something from this information report and encourage you to write your own. If you are still not sure about mars you can write on the internet( facts about mars).





My Information Report Success Criteria:
Self
Peer
My heading:


  • is an interesting title (I might have phrased the title as a question.)

My opening paragraph:


  • says what my report is about in a clear way
  • gives a general “classification” – and maybe a technical classification
  • outlines the main features of the subject
My main paragraphs:


  • have sub-headings where helpful
  • have clear topic sentences  (topic and main point)
  • are organised so that each paragraph is about a different aspect of the subject
  • give detailed information (factual descriptions)
  • include specific, technical vocabulary
  • are generally balanced (have a similar amount of detail about the different aspects I write about)
  • may have helpful: tables, pictures and/or diagrams to add information
My end paragraph:


  • draws the report together/sums up my main points
  • may give a personal opinion; ask the reader a question and/or tell the reader where further information may be found

3 comments:

  1. Talofa lava Denzal,

    Thank you for such an informative report about Mars.

    Your next learning steps are:
    1) Proofreading your work for grammatical or spelling mistakes. Did you know you wrote "Mrs Orbit" for one of your headings?
    2) Make sure that you use formal language in your writing (do not instead of don't)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Miss Kim,
    Thank you for giving me a goal to work on. I have just finished my other goals and you gave me this goals in perfect timing. I am going to work on these goals straight away. Thank you
    from Denzal

    ReplyDelete
  3. WOW!!!!!! What great adjectives to describe Mars. It reminds me of a big massive fireball that flew across the sky. Would you like to live at Mars yourself and Why?

    ReplyDelete

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